What Is Love
by Hotnesspecter88
Summary: Roxas confronts Axel, unsure of the meaning of love. Axel's insensitivity towards love causes a rift between them. Realizing this, he's got to apologize to the blonde teen. But how..? WARNING:Vulgar, Yaoi-smexiness
1. Chapter 1

" What is love?" asked the blonde, chewing thoughtfully on the sea salt treat. Sitting atop the Station clocktower as usual, was the Organization XIII's infamous duo, Roxas and Axel. Missions done for the day, they took their typical break, and lately Roxas had been coming up with some pretty outlandish statements.

"What..?" Axel turned to face his apprentice, a bit confused.

"What is love, Axel. I've never felt it before...at least I don't think I have, and I'm curious to see what it is." Roxas stared at his feet, embarrassed at his personal question.

As much as he wanted to give a valuable explanation, Axel himself had no clue what love was. He had brief memories of it from when he truly existed, when he had a heart. But the physiological connection to those memories were long ago severed, he couldn't remember a thing about love, affection, anything.

"I think is exclusively for people with hearts, man, not us." Axel replied.

Roxas sighed, disappointed. " So for us, love isn't real, it's something we can never obtain?"

"Yeah..I guess. But what do you care, Rox, its just something we can't have, you might as well just drop the subject. Think about an issue thats a little more pressing, like the missions we've yet to complete." Axel murmured.

As Axel turned to smile at his apprentice, he found himself sitting alone.

_Hm...he must've RTC'd early, and he didn't even finish his ice cream..._

Axel polished off his Sea Salt ice cream, apparating back to the lobby of Organization XIII's mission area.

As Axel walked through the corridors, he mused over Roxas's statement. Axel never really gave love any thought, but when you get right down to it, lacking a heart and the ability to love, but still occupying a prolonged existence, wasn't fair.

_As a Nobody, forever in a dark shadow of the light, we cannot feel love,_

_yet I can recall, in my past life as a human, love was always vital_

_to be loved, is to feel whole, and invigorates ones existence_

_and it makes life worth living_

_But as a Nobody, we're deprived of love_

_So what is this life worth if you can't really live it?_

Axel continued to muse. He passed by the lobby room, stopping at Roxas's door. Carefully opening the door, he stepped in to see Roxas lying on his bed, staring outside into the bleak netherworldly space. His eyes were puffy, an obvious sign he'd been crying. Axel sat beside him, brushing the blond locks from the teen's face.

"You don't need to cry, Roxas." Axel whispered quietly.

Roxas slapped his hand away, casting him a icy glare.

"You don't _**need to **_**_bother _**_**me**_. You don't care, you're so aloof about everything, doesn't it bother you that we, as Nobodies, have no heart to love, have compassion, _**anything?!?**_" Roxas shouted angrily, tears trailing down his face, his hands balled into fists.

Axel lowered his head, hurt by the blonde teen's outrage. "It does, Roxas, but why should you be so concerned over something that doesn't apply to you. It makes no sense. It's not like you can even feel it."

Roxas met Axel's eyes fiercely. "_**I**_ can." he retorted, wiping away teardrops furiously.

"But how is that even possible?" Axel asked, confused.

"Does it even _**matter**_ to you? Just get out of my room, you're so insensitive and obnoxious." Roxas shouted aloud, pushing the older teen outside.

The door slammed behind him with a resounding *bang*. Axel sombered down the hallway, feeling more depressed by the moment. He had meant to comfort Roxas in his distress, not aggravate him. Now Roxas practically hated him.

He knocked on the door of the ever elusive Zexion, oping he could shed light on this subject. Plus he was somewhat of a friend to Axel, so this news would stay between the two of them.

"To what do I owe a visit from the resident loudmouth?" Zexon hissed, the door opening a crack's width.

"Please, Zexion listen, I need your advice. .It's...urgent." Axel sulked, staring at him pleadingly. The door opened to a small lab with low lights to conceal Zexion's scientific equipment, it was no doubt that he was inventing something to irk Xemnas.

"What can you tell me about love?" Axel asked uneasily, in hopes maybe the prodigy could shed light on his predicament. Zexion's eyes stopped examining the test tubes, darting to Axel, clapping his hand over Axel's mouth.

"_**Why are you speaking of something regarding hearts when you're well aware Kingdom Hearts isn't going well? Xemnas would KILL you!**_" Zexion hissed, clutching Axel's cloak.

"Because."

"Because _**why?**_" Zexion demanded, annoyed at the red head's stalling.

"Because Roxas can feel it. He can feel love, like a human can, apparently." Axel admitted, wincing at the flashback of the days argument with his blonde accomplice.

"So. Our little soldier of the keyblade feels something he shouldn't be." Zexion resolved, flipping through his lexicon for a reference. Axel looked on hopefully as he watched the dark prodigy research the topic feverishly. He stopped flipping the musty pages suddenly, closing the book confidently.

"Axel, did he happen to mention of what or whom he feels love for?" he asked curiously.

"No, he never did. Just sort of brought it up out of nowhere." Axel replied, sorting through his memory to recall what he'd said. "He just got mad when I tried to discuss and reason with him."

Zexion snorted. "You know, when you discuss anything with anyone, you always manage to say something stupid." he paused, laughing to himself with a small smile. "Axel, why do you think Roxas would ask _**you**_ a question like that?"

Axel shrugged, he couldn't imagine why Roxas would. "He's usually so quiet and serious, occasionally jokes around, but overall never asked questions that personal."

"Did you ever consider that, maybe, Roxas is feeling this way, because of you? As unlikely as it seems.." Zexion inquired, placing his lexicon back on its shelf with a satisfactory smile.

Axel felt warmth rush to his cheeks, shaking his head. "No, that couldn't be the case. Open up that book of solutions, bookworm, find another possibility!" Axel joked, tousling Zexion's hair.

"Alright, alright then, don't listen to me. But don't come to me later crying because you screwed everything up." Zexion teased, smirking as he ushered the red haired idiot into the hallway.

Axel walked off to the Organization XIII lovvy, seating himself on a couch, now deep in thought. He'd never actually considered that Roxas's ailment involved himself in such a personal way.

_He feels love for me?_

_I still don't understand..._

_what do I do?_

_He's so angry with me I can't even ask him what this all means..._

A loud clatter awoke Axel from his introspection, Vexen rudely shoving his platter of food onto the glass table. Axel cast him a dirty look, he knew he'd have no peace with Vexen around. He'd get around to killing him eventually.

"So, red. Done anything useful lately? Besides pondering of your boy toy's predicaments." Vexen sneered, flipping his hair vainly.

Axel twitched, avoiding Vexen's condescending smirk.

_How the hell did Vexen know about Roxas?_

_Or is he bluffing?_

_Zexion wouldn't tell Vexen, oh...this could be troublesome.._

"For your information, Platinum Barbie, I've gathered more hearts on my missions than...oh wait, you _**don't**_ do missions do you?" Axel shot back sarcastically.

Vexen glared at Axel, as he grabbed a fork and jabbed at the grey gunk on his plate.

"That may be, but difference between **_you_** and** _I_**, Xemnas trusts my capabilities as a scientist. I actually _**have**_ skills, I don't spin bicycle wheels around like an_** idiot.**_" Vexen smirked, he knew how to annoy Axel, it was practically a daily routine.

"Anyway, don't worry, Axel. I won't tell anyone here about Roxas's interesting little _**quirk**_." Vexen assured, taking a swig of Sangria daintily.

"A...and why wouldn't you tell, Vexen? What's in this for you?" Axel demanded, he didn't trust Vexen, he could cause major trouble and unwanted attention for Roxas.

"Because, unlike you, Roxas is already a valuable member of Organization XIII. His ability with the keyblade is astounding. If I spoke of his sudden emergence of emotions, he would be immediately taken off missions, and would be submitted as a lab rat for Xemnas's personal whims." Vexen replied simply, taking another greedy swig of the liquor.

"And besides...from that angry expression of yours, I think we both know you wouldn't want Xemnas to have such devious ways with your..._**apprentice.**_" Vexen reasoned, cackling at his clever assumptions.

"So, what can I do about this? Since..you already seem well informed of Roxas's condition." Axel hesitated.

"Well, if I were a naive pyromaniac with absolutely no skills, and I had a simpering yet sexy blonde assistant lusting after me..."

"_**Get to the point.**_" Axel snapped.

"...as I was saying, If I were in your place, I would pursue this matter further. Since you've already managed to infuriate him, I'd try to see him later, maybe make amends, but for gods sake bring a rubber.."

Axel roared loudly, tossing his flaming chakrams at a hysterically laughing Vexen.

"Good luck, you prude bastard!" Vexen grinned, apparating away with a *pop*.

Pacing in a huff, Axel contemplated his next move.


	2. Chapter 2

Axel eyed the hallway like a hawk intent on catching a mouse. The moment that door would open, Axel would apologize profusely to Roxas, and hope that he wouldn't ignore him or grow angrier.

But the door never opened, as the clock ticked mechanically, the tension in the air so thick, Axel couldn't stand it. He rose from his seat, accidentally in his fervor bumping into Saix. He turned around to face the anxious red head, the blue haired man's yellow eyes shone dangerously. Saix was the type that you never want to aggravate, unless you're prepared to become a dusk.

"Was there something you needed, Axel?" Saix asked, fairly annoyed.

"No, excuse me." Axel hurried past him, finding himself once again pacing the hallways.

_I cant keep this up, the stress is unbelievable._

_Okay...I'll go up to his door and wait until he opens it..._

_....shit I'll be here all night..._

Axel skulked towards Roxas's room, leaning his head against the door, straining to hear any noise. "If he was awake, it'd be an ideal time to tell him I'm sorry." Axel murmured to himself, smiling at his theory. As long as he was sincere, he just knew Roxas would forgive him.

With a small *craaack*, the door gave way to Axel's weight, sending the clumsy older teen falling to the marble floor of the blonde's room. He looked up, panicked, struggling not to make a sound.

He exhaled quietly, looking around the room. It was bathed in a copper glow from the faraway Kingdom Hearts, and tangled in cotton blankets was Roxas fast asleep, his chest rising and falling rhythmically.

Axel smiled, watching the blonde rest peacefully. The teen gave a small snore, tossing to the right slightly, coming to rest again at the pillows against his head. Axel sighed, standing over his apprentice.

_He's so innocent when he sleeps..._

_This innocent boy loves me._

_I want to protect him, protect that peaceful smile, for as long as I live_

_In this prolonged existence.._

_This boy, makes me forget I'm a nobody_

_make's me feel like I have a heart_

_and if I have one inside me, I want to give it to him_

_Want to trust him with my thoughts, my life,_

_I want to trust him with_

_with_

_my love_

_for him too..._

Axel found himself overcome with strange thoughts, made him feel anxious, nervous, erratic, excited.

_Are these..emotions?_

_So it is true._

Axel stepped back, overwhelmed by the truth he'd so naively overlooked. He'd never anticipated this happening to him, he'd been a Nobody for so long, feelings and emotions were a relic of the love for Roxas, now that he'd unsheathed these hidden thoughts and feelings, Axel didn't know how to react.

Axel's eyes widened, a tear drop tickled his cheek. He'd never cried before, never felt this deep loneliness and sadness until just a moment ago when he empathized with Roxas. As the tear traveled down his jawline, he reached to touch it. But his hand didn't catch it.

A smaller, warm hand caught Axel's tear instead. He looked down to see his young apprentice, eyes lowered with fatigue, stared at Axel intently.

Axel grabbed Roxas's hand, holding it tightly. He kneeled to the floor, level with the young teen.

"Roxas...I.."

Roxas leaned forward, his soft lips lightly grazing Axel's mouth. Axel leaned in, embracing him, and kissed him, running his fingers through the teen's gold locks. He held him close, he could smell the familiar scent of the beaches of Twilight Town.

Axel pulled away slowly, smiling at Roxas's flushed cheeks. The blonde sat up in his bed, watching Axel quietly.

"So, I suppose this is how you'll tell me you love me too?" Roxas asked nervously, his cheeks a light shade of pink. Axel couldn't meet his eyes, he'd been so insensitive earlier, he felt he didn't deserve to be forgiven just yet.

"Roxas, I'm sorry I didn't try to help you understand your feelings, I'm sorry I let you hold that burden by yourself, will you forgive me?" Axel looked at the young teen somberly, tears in his eyes.

Roxas wiped Axel's eyes with his lanky pajama sleeve, motioning for Axel to sit beside him on his bed. Axel obeyed, sitting close to his apprentice, awaiting Roxas's reply.

"You know...you really hurt me that day. You didn't really seem to care about what was bothering me, and I...I just don't know why I got so mad. But, I understand even now you're confused and you're not sure what you're feeling either, Axel. But I'll say something that I mean honestly."

"...I'll always be here, Axel. I forgive you, I love you. And I never want you to leave me behind, wherever you go. I want to be with you." Roxas spoke softly, his eyes searching Axel for any response.

Axel watched the blonde as he spoke. Roxas's words were sincere, he'd only wanted Axel to keep him by his side.

_He must've felt so lonely after he was born a Nobody.._

_in the beginning..._

Axel felt a pang of guilt.

"...and I want you, Axel, to stay and protect me. Give me your trust and your warmth, I mean..you don't have to if you don't want to...with me..but if .."

Roxas couldn't continue, he was nervous, losing confidence with every word.

Axel cleared his throat, finally speaking after moments of his unbearable silence.

"I love you. I'll never let anything happen to you, Roxas. I want to be with you for eternity, until destiny's force parts us." Axel whispered in the blonde's ear, pulling Roxas into his slender frame. The older teens hands clasped with the blonde's, he leaned in to kiss him, savoring his soft embrace, the blonde's tender mouth upon his. Roxas shut his eyes, breathing softly as he intensified the kiss, trusting Axel in this vulnerable state.

Roxas took hold of the silver zipper adorning Axel's organization coat, trailing it downwards slowly. His hand grazed Axel's pale chest, his warm touch sending waves of warm pleasure throughout the older teen's body. Axel nibbled Roxas's lip, kissing him deeply as he unbuttoned the blonde's pajama shirt. His hands wrapped around thin waist, he pulled Roxas's bare chest into his own. Roxas lightly kissed his neck, his warm breath tickling Axel's smooth skin.


	3. Chapter 3

Night's dark pallor overshadowed the room of the 13th member of the Organization, casting its cold glance onto the walls of the quiet hovel.

Axel's hands massaged the boy's chest, even in the dark he could see Roxas's cheeks turning a dark red shade. Roxas trembled at the older teen's touch, moving his hips as he straddled him. Axel moaned, unable to stifle himself as the blonde's grinding on his waist awoke a torrential wave of pleasure within him.

Axel sat up, pulling Roxas into a fevered kiss, Roxas wrapped his legs around the older teen, pressing and grinding himself against Axel's pulsating erection. The blonde paused, quickly began to undo Axel's pants as well as his own, pulling them off quickly and resumed his position on the older teen's waist. Axel gasped as the young teen moved faster, pressing himself against Axel's pulsating member needily. Roxas's whimpers filled the older teen's ears, and he could feel Roxas's member already as painfully aroused as his own, a string of warm pre-cum dribbled down the older teen's member.

Roxas continued to grind on Axel hungrily, their moans grew louder, longer, hotter. Axel reached down to feel Roxas's heat, smirking at the blonde's shaft throbbing in anticipation, spurting pre-cum onto Axel's fingers. He traced his fingers teasingly around the head of Roxas's member, covering it with his own juices.

"_**Ahhnn...Axel...**_" Roxas breathed, rubbing his member against Axel's hand in a desperate attempt to alleviate the surging heat building within him.

Axel's hand continued to massage the painfully aroused blonde, his sweet voice tapered off into the older teen's ear. Axel lifted the blonde's hips, holding the blonde atop his waist.

"_Ngh...Roxas...are..y...you sure...._" Axel asked shakily, barely able to control his voice as the blonde continued to rub himself against the older teen's body. He licked two of his fingers, tracing saliva upon the blonde's tight passage to prepare him for what would come next.

"_**Yeaahhnn..Axel...please..f..fuck me..**_" Roxas pleaded, pushing Axel's pulsing cock into his warm entrance eagerly.

"_**Aaaaahnnyess...it hurts...**_" Roxas strained, tears in his eyes as he moved his hips against Axel's member. Axel teased the blonde's nipples with his tongue, his hand rubbing Roxas's shaft faster, slick pre-cum lubricating his pulsating erection.

"_**Aahh.....ah..Axel..harder..**_" Roxas moaned, gyrating faster on Axel's cock hungrily. Flares of heat began to build within Axel's member. Axel groaned, he could feel himself swell within Roxas, the blonde's passage was tight and warm, Axel was fully erect, and he could feel the violent temptation to release edge closer with every pump on his cock.

Roxas pushed harder, deeper, with every rise and fall of his hips, he felt powerful waves of heat reverberate through his erection.

"_**I can feel you move inside me...s..so good..**_" Roxas whispered breathlessly, his hips moving as roughly as he could, taking in Axel's full length greedily.

"_Roxas...I ..I'm gonna....**I can't...**_" Axel moaned louder, with every motion of Roxas's hips brought him closer to climax, his member pulsing intensely.

Roxas whined loudly, pushing his hips fully on Axel's waist, greedily taking him in.

"_**Aaaahn.....I'm gonna...I ...need to ..cum..**_" Roxas whispered needily, grinding hard into Axel, trying to relieve himself as well.

Axel reached for Roxas's cock, pumping at varied speed, flicking his tongue on the head of the blonde's shaft as it throbbed rhythmically with each stroke.

"_**Nnnngh..Roxas...I'm gonna....**_" Axel strained, pushing his cock into Roxas impatiently, feeling the heat surging forcefully, he couldn't restrain it much longer.

Axel leaned forward, his eyes squeezed shut.

"_**Yess...aahh fuck..Aannh..AAAHH...**_" the older teen's hips arched violently, with a final pump into Roxas's warm entrance, shot his warm seed into the blonde, coating his insides.

"_**Aahh..no...no..ah..AHHH!**_" Roxas's entranced tightened, grabbing hold of Axel, his cock spurting warm cum onto Axel's chest. Roxas continued to moan, grinding on Axel's waist, the last of his juices dribbled onto Axel's fingers.

The two breathed heavily, their bodies glistening in sweat, bodies entangled in the sheets. Axel snuggled into Roxas's neck, kissing his cheek lightly, pulling Roxas close to his chest, covering the both of them in the cotton sheets. Roxas wrapped his arms around the older teen, lifting his head briefly to kiss his soft lips.

Axel stroked the teen's hair lovingly, feeling the sanguine temptations of sleep overtake them.

"Axel." Roxas whispered.

"Mhm?"

"What if the others find us asleep, in bed together like this?" the blonde asked uneasily.

"Well, let them find us. To hell with the Organization, and their quest to gain hearts. Why bother, when I've already got a heart." Axel resolved, sighing as he felt his chest, felt the faint rhythmic beating.

"...a heart that's yours for the taking, Roxas." Axel added, kissing the blonde's tender lips.

"And you can have mine." Roxas smiled contentedly, snuggling close to his lover.

As Axel laid upon the bed with the blonde, he finally felt some wholeness, for what may have been the first time for the older teen.

_One day far from now_

_I'll remember this night, when_

_this boy took my heart,_

_gave my life purpose,_

_and asked me_

_**"what is love."**_

Axel finally shut his eyes, holding Roxas close, allowing sleep to take them both.


End file.
